A large donut is pointing a gun in Sex Drive. And Lance is the guy in the pink bathrobe.
As Printed in The Lumberjack on Oct. 23, 2008
by Gary Sundt
Sex Drive centers on Ian (Josh Zuckerman), a senior in high school with the dreaded curse of…wait for it…virginity! He respects women and is in love with his best friend, Felicia (Amanda Crew), who is in love with his other good buddy, Lance (Clark Duke), who is chubby, pale, doesn’t respect women and has the curse of all women being inexplicably attracted to him. Ian works for a donut shop in the mall and is constantly conned into passing out coupons while wearing a giant donut costume. Ian’s brother, Rex (James Marsden), is a homophobic nut job but drives a sweet car.
Ian has also met a girl online who goes by the probably fake name of Ms. Tasty (Katrina Bowden), and they have arranged a meet and greet. What if she’s a guy? What if she’s an old guy? What if she’s an old guy with regular guest appearances on To Catch a Predator? Lance insists it doesn’t matter, and that getting on the road and driving to her is the very best plan possible.
They steal Rex’s car, and the three kids begin their quest to get Ian laid. On their quest, they encounter sex with rednecks, sex with Amish, potential sex with carnival dancers, and, of course, the potential sex with Ms. Tasty. Whether or not this final bit of intercourse actually occurs will not be discussed in this review.
I’d like to stop for a minute and point out (in case you haven’t noticed) that virginity is a pretty big no-no in teen sex comedies. However, high school kids like Ian are far more common than one would think. Guys like Lance, on the other hand, are rare. I mean super rare. Even when they are actually good looking, which Lance is not (no offense buddy), it is rare. When guys look like Lance and get tail “sometimes two or three times a week” from multiple partners as the film claims, it is an anomaly that defies the laws of physics. I don’t know how many high school kids will be opening up The Lumberjack, but I think they should know that what is presented in Sex Drive is mostly impossible and, at all times, improbable.
I know it has been mostly criticism at this point, but don’t take all this as me saying Sex Drive is never funny. The film can be quite funny, even laugh-out-loud hilarious at times. Marsden and Seth Green, who plays the Amish but tech-savvy Ezekiel, are especially hilarious in their respective roles.
But I think the sheer lack of believability in the story’s twists and turns, combined with the inanities inherent in the movie’s plot (see the above paragraphs), undermine the success of the film. Superbad, which managed to redefine the genre a year ago, was a far-fetched flick as well, but at least its situations weren’t totally insane. They could reasonably happen in our universe, whereas the events of Sex Drive could most definitely not.
People have commented on the sheer vulgarity presented in Sex Drive. Critics seem to be taken aback by just how many dirty words and situations can be stuffed into a little over 100 minutes. However, I’m not sure this concern is warranted. There are no more dirty words here than what can be found in, say, Superbad. Maybe it’s because director Sean Anders decided to cast people who actually look like they’re in high school. Maybe I just don’t see it, because I wasn’t in high school all that long ago and know that my ability to string naughty words together was way better than the kids in this movie.